Anyway, I posted this in Pieces, but it's getting posted here in my LJ too (for lack of anything else to put in it *wince*). It's lacking of any real Steph/Laruku interaction at the moment, but eh, that'll come. Plenty more chapters to come, as I seem inherently unable to write one-shots.
Most characters are fictional. Chris however, is not. Thank god. *drools*
The storyline's a bit thin. But I really couldn't think of any other way to drag the Laruku boys to this side of the world. ^^;;
And yes, the title's quoted from a Glay song. Why? I don't know. I don't even know the song. It was two in the morning. I was not in my right mind.
Disclaimer: I in no way hold any ownership over any member of L’arc~en~ciel other than in my crazed fantasy world where everything is mine (yes, even that ZERO Custom) no matter how hard I wish otherwise. I do believe I own me however, and this over-exaggerated version of me (that is slowly becoming to evolve into a lesser Usagi in my eyes…) in the ficlet belongs to me as well. ^_^
Also, I’m not quite sure if this is a stretch of the imagination… but for the sake of my own sanity, (and most likely yours) let’s all assume the Laruku members can speak in English, shall we? Otherwise, this fic is over before it has even begun.
“…and that is why Hyde is hot. Shit! I mean—no, not shit—aw fuck! I mean! Um… oh god…”
“—AND that’s enough of that—sit down now! And the rest of you! Quiet! Shh! Hey! Jacob! I saw that. Be quiet!” the teacher hurriedly interrupted, flailing her hands looking properly chagrined.
Meekly, I joined the ranks of the assembled student body, and sprawl on my desk, images of impending failure dancing gleefully through my brain, laughing at me even when I tried (in vain) to make them go away. And of course, the whispers, and the giggles subsided soon enough when the teacher’s eyes fell on each classmate in turn. Of course, that didn’t stop Tanya from leaning over and whispering, “Who’s ‘Hide’?”
I could just hear her misspell his name. Oh, the poor masses, unable (and unwilling) to know of the world of sweet, sweet J-rock. “He’s a J-rocker.” I whisper back.
Immediately I get a startled blink, and a blank “Huh?”
“No, c’mon, tell… how hot is this guy, huh?”
Cue dreamy smile. Ooh, devious way to distract me more. Mm… Hyde… sex…
“Ooh, so he is a hot one…” Seeing the glassy look on my face as my brain took a familiar spiraling path that usually ended up with incoherent, disjointed words like Hyde, bed, sex, she grinned wickedly. “Come on, give up the picture, I know you have one.”
And I do. Totally by coincidence, I swear.
In any case, I pull it out, and she snatches it. "Ooh he’s… he’s…” she frowns, and I stare at her in disbelief that she is not immediately drooling and ruining the picture (because it will smear being ink and all…).
“Well he’s kind of… girly… isn’t he? Just how old is he?” she looks up me, “He’s a little too young for me I think…” Trying to be polite of course.
Ah, so now I’m a closet lesbian pedophile. Stop. Pause. Shudder at the awful image that has just been imprinted in brain. And then wonder at why I keep doing these things to myself. It certainly doesn’t seem healthy.
But, this ignorant must be correctly informed. “He’s thirty-five.” I reply flatly.
She blinks, and then stares back down at the picture… “Wow…” she mutters, and I think for a moment, that perhaps, yes, she might have caught on to his incredible hotness. “Well he really does have great taste in clothing... and that makeup is dead on… are you sure he’s really a guy? …Are you sure he’s straight?”
Sigh. Why do I bother? After assuring him that he was quite male and that his sexual preferences really wouldn’t matter much seeing as I’d never in a thousand years be able to meet him and be given the chance to simply run up and tackle him to the ground in the biggest glomp in histor—
"—and she will be granted any 'wish' of hers... that are within reason of course."
Everyone has turned, and begun looking expectedly at me.
Wait, backtrack, backtrack. Wish?
"I’m sorry, could you repeat that?"
"I said if you had been paying attention," replied the teacher, as saccharinely sweet as… as… oh, who cares about similes, she said I could have a wish dammit. Now just what did this mean?
I knew my wish, if it went to that extent. The Sacred City—er country, itself beckoned. "That you had been chosen for to participate in the country-wide Dream Come True program."
See me blink. A what program?
She rolls her eyes, "You’re going to Japan," she informed me flatly, probably already knowing exactly what I would have chosen to do, taking up her textbook as if that was the end of that, "If your parents allow it, you’re most likely going to be off in two weeks." (I could've sworn I heard her mutter "Good riddance!")
The class could see it coming. The other two fangirls were already half giddy at my success, half lost in insane jealousy over the same. But they all saw it coming, and immediately backed away in instinctive terror.
Quite without my realization, I vaulted up onto my chair (which I had been sitting on, mere moments ago) and hollered, "OH MY GOD!" at the top of my lungs. So lost in the throes of undiluted fangirl ecstasy was I, that it took me several moments to notice the shocked look on my teacher’s face. (Ah, the poor woman, she’d only started teaching this year… the fates are not with her if she’s been set against a crazed fangirl.) And also the laughter of my fellow classmates for the second time that day.
But who cared? I was overjoyed! Elated! Thrilled beyond imagining! I was going to Japan!
“No you’re not.”
My world crumbles.
Cue jaw drop. “Wha~at?!”
“I said no,” my mother replied calmly, taking another sip of her tea and her eyes firmly fixed upon the television set as if the discussion was already closed.
“But… but why?” I nearly wailed, not quite sure she knew just how many ways of ruining my life she could possibly do to me with those three words. “But Mommy…”
“You’re too young, it’s too far, and you’re going to miss school.”
I stare. “But that’s my greatest wish in the world! AND THE SCHOOL CAN DO THAT FOR ME!!”
“I said no.”
Watch my jaw drop. This was not happening to me. My entire life was being handed over to me on a silver platter, and I couldn’t accept it because my mother wouldn’t let me!
After all, I knew exactly what to wish for. Japan. Laruku. Me.
However, I must say, that despair does put things into perspective.
I weighed them both. Japan. Or Laruku?
Really, I could’ve had them both. And this was a thorn in my side. But if I couldn’t have one… I could have the other… here. Fangirl heaven anyway.
“Fine.” I said stiffly, getting up off my position of sprawled over the couch. “But we’re expecting some house guests.”
Hyde choked on his cigarette.
All turned to stare, as the apparently ageless young man bent over double, hacking.
“Ne… are you okay…?” one unlucky crew member voiced uncertainly, to be caught with a patented Hyde Glare-o’-death at the insinuation that his beloved cigarette might actually be causing him harm. The young man immediately uttered a sharp “Eep!” and scuttled off on some imaginary errand.
Tetsu however, seemed immune to this look and called over (from a reasonable distance of course, he wasn’t entirely suicidal), “I told you that’s going to kill you sooner or later!”
“It’s not that!” the lead singer yelled back hoarsely, clearing his throat. He brought his phone back to his ear, “Are you serious?” he demanded, his expression incredulous.
He listened, nodding as he went, “Yeah… no, not recently—” he snapped his head up. “TV!” he barked, gesturing to the one in the corner where Yuki was busy playing video games on. The other man immediately looked up, looking annoyed. “Away!” he yelled, making ‘go away’ motions with one hand, as he continued to manipulate the game controller with one hand. “He’s almost dead!”
Crew members, stood between a rock and a hard spot as they wondered whether to obey the great Hyde-sama or their resident drummer, who was deeply in the middle of his video game and would most likely commit bloody murder should the intrude on his game-playing.
Hyde immediately took matters in his own hands. “One second, Megu-chan,” he muttered into his cellular as he proceeded to wade through the masses of people that had been crammed into the small room in the recording studio that they had decided to collapse in. Tetsu immediately yelled at him reprovingly as he did, since Hyde had made no attempt to rid himself of his cigarette as he did so. Hyde ignored him, mind set on a sole purpose. Ignoring Yukihiro’s protests also, he reached over, and switched the television’s setting to Cable.
“Press ‘pause’!” was all he said when Yuki immediately complained, who’d obviously gotten a little too much into his game. He was busy digging out the remote and switching it to the news channel.
The news lady appeared to be attempting to hide a grin as she spoke. “Meanwhile, a startling new development has occurred for newly re-grouped L’arc~en~ciel… a call has come in from all the way in Canada regarding a certain ‘wish’. Apparently,” and here she drew out the word with some relish. Hyde vaguely wondered what any of them had ever done to her to make her seem so gleefully evil at that very moment. “they had been called upon to travel all the way to a currently nameless town in the middle of suburban Ontario at the behest of a seventeen-year-old girl.”
Here she couldn’t help but keep the evil grin off her face, as if she knew all five of the Laruku members were watching the screen slack-jawed with looks of the utmost disbelief. “More information will be obtained soon enough by the time of the next program,” she finished sweetly, as she disappeared off the screen, and the camera went to zoom in on an older man who immediately began commenting on something sports-related.
Hyde slowly reached out, and switched the television set back to V1, and Yukihiro’s game screen came back up (he’d died), but none of them made any comment.
Finally, Ken burst out. “They can’t do that can they?” he roared, obviously incensed at the idea that they could be strung into this business like they were some sort of prize.
Tetsu was silent, notably silent as he got up, and disappeared from the room. A loud crash that sounded like something expensive being thrown at the wall could be heard from the other side of the door as the remaining three Laruku members winced. A few moments later, Tetsu reappeared, his appearance not noticeably disheveled but with a large piece of paper in his hand. He immediately plopped down onto a conveniently placed sofa, and began scanning it.
“Can… they…?” Ken repeated it again, now a little more unsure as Tetsu remained silent and did not speak.
Tetsu frowned, and pulled out a magnifying glass, holding it to the paper, and the rest of them blinked and, Hyde especially, looking more confused than ever.
Tetsu looked up from his examinations, “Did any of you ever see the fine print?” he finished at last.
Ken’s jaw dropped, “You’re kidding me,” he exclaimed as he bounded over the back of one couch and snatched up the sheaf of paper, “You can’t tell me that we’re going to have to go to… to… where was it again?”
“Canada.” Yukihiro replied helpfully, no less cheered by it than the rest of them.
“…to Canada just like that?”
Tetsu tapped a spot at the very bottom of the text with the magnifying glass. “See for yourself.”
And there it was. The proverbial loophole that allowed them (whoever ‘they’ were) to do just that.
It was J-rocker hell.
"What do you mean they’re coming?" I could hear her sit up as she screeched this into the phone. I had already anticipated that she’d do something like this, and had already had the phone positioned at a safe distance away from my ear. Unfortunately however, I believe I had not anticipated that she’d be holding a very large trumpet, and immediately after shrieking, had let out a loud bugle of triumph. Ow-w!
And since when could she play the trumpet?
"They’re coming," I confirmed weakly for her, after deducing the fact that I could still hear things (despite the loud ringing in my noise that would not go away thanks to her…) "I put in the call to Mrs. Edgaa a little while ago. They’re coming!!"
"I didn’t even know they were allowed to do that."
I grinned, "Loopholes are wonderful things apparently. I just got the call back."
"And have you found out how they’re taking it?"
"Laruku of course. Do they know yet?" She suddenly sounded serious again, "I mean, do you know if they’re busy right now? New project? Are they going to take well to being dragged halfway round the world?"
"Oh well!" she chirped instead, serious gone now as if it had never been. "Laruku! Here! Whee!!" I heard springs cry out in the background and I realized she was jumping up and down on her bed.
"Exactly." But that wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear… what if they took badly to being asked (asked! Not dragged!) all the way to Canada? What was there in Canada anyway?
That was it! There were fans here. Fans they wouldn’t have thought existed because there was a whole bloody ocean separating us. And who’d they would never had visited otherwise.
I called back the ‘Dream Come True’ number. "Can I add something to that wish of mine…?" I asked, very, very nicely.
"…What’s the point in having the rest of us come too?" Ken groused for the fiftieth time that day, as they approached the airport. (Tetsu was driving)
"Really… what’s the point? All the kid’s going to do is go," here he put on an extremely high falsetto in his imitation of a teenage girl, "‘Ooohhh, Hyde-sama!! You’re so ‘kowaiiiiiiiii’!!’" and batting at the singer with one hand, and then appearing to suppress a giggle behind one hand.
Hyde stayed obstinately quiet. It was always uncomfortable whenever the others made mention that he was more popular than they were. It was like that blasted Arizona no Mahou show they’d appeared on. Never again, he swore to himself. That had been humiliating. The others had just been made to sit there while he had been left to field the questions that seemed to always be directed at him. Stupid show people, he thought to himself, that was ridiculously offensive and you knew it.
"Oh shut up," Tetsu called over his shoulder at Ken in the backseat, "I'm not going to listen to you all the way there."
Ken subsided, muttering as he fished around for a cigarette in his pocket.
"And put that away!" Tetsu added, his eyes still on the road, "Some of us want the luxury of being able to breathe for a long while yet."
"Live fast, die young," Hyde muttered, apparently to himself, as he stared moodily out the window. He'd actually been looking forward to the weekend… he'd planned to have a little time to himself, go out with his wife, be with his kid… and now he was unable to do any of that because of… because of some little girl who fancied herself a fan.
He'd learned she couldn't even speak Japanese. What kind of fan could she be, if she couldn't even understand what he tried to say when he sang? A superficial one, he decided to himself, who didn't care for the message they'd tried so hard to promote, to try and be different than the rest. For her, there was probably no meaning whatsoever.
Somehow fans had gotten wind of their appearance.
Why was I so sure of this? Quite possibly that Hydeist banner that girl who appears to have camped out on my driveway seems to erecting. And that Tetsu cosplayer having laid claim on one of the squares of cement that make up the sidewalk in front of my house. Or maybe even that… hoard of raging fangirls coming down the street!
Oh my god, hide me!! I dove for the bushes.
This was not going to work. I was not having my house hounded by fangirls. Stealthily sneaking back into my house (which involved crawling on the ground in plain sight mainly propelled by my elbows through my front door), I hastily constructed my own impromptu Unofficial Wannabe Hydeist banner, made a few phone calls, and raced out the door. Immediately I raced past them all yelling, “HAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOO-SAAA
Immediately people perked up and stared.
Operation Lead Raging Fangirls Away From My House: start!
One of the grabbed me. “Ne, where are you going?”
I stared blankly at her, then waved my banner in her face, “I’m going to stalk Haido-sama. What are you doing here?” I asked, pointing at her own little Hydeist flag. “Aren’t you going to see him too?”
“But... he’s... here, isn’t he?”
I stared. “I live here.” I told her pointing to my house, “And if Laruku lived there, I would be in fangirl heaven. Now let me goooooo!!! I need to see my Haido-sama!! And all my other beautiful Laruku boys!!” I made my voice as high-pitched and squealing as the best of them. As soon as she let me go, I raced off.
Again, shrilling at the top of my lungs, “Haaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiidddddddddooooo-saaaaa
More fans were looking up now, and several of them were beginning to follow me. Good! Now, Chirs had better have kept good on his word…
I never mentioned I hated running, did I? Well, I do, and I always will. So, running in heels (I was a dolt and misplaced my running shoes), no matter if they’re boots or not, is a long an painful process. Eventually though, I found myself at my intended destination. By now, a deluge of fangirls had followed me.
Screaming + Running = Death
I was glad something had come out of it anyway. If none of them had followed, I would have just plopped down on the ground and cried.
And there he was! Thank you lord!
I stopped short, and two over-zealous fans nearly collided into me.
“There…” I whispered, pointing at him.
He sat there, lounging back in a beach chair that had been spread out on the patio, his eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, dark hair flung back, a guitar still in slightly-roughened hands, though apparently abandoned as he merely held it, and avoided strumming. His slender-yet-muscular frame was clothed simply in a dark t-shirt, and black leather pants clung to his legs.
The other fangirls let out a loud, impossible shriek, and I was nearly killed in the rush.
Quick as a panther however, the object of the fangirls’ sudden desires lithely sprang to his feet, and at once was through the door, with one last look over his shoulder, a half-smile at the star-struck fans.
I grinned as they stampeded to the door, screaming, “Haido-sama! Haido-sama!” as well as any number of other words in Japanese which I could not understand.
Operation Lead Raging Fangirls Away From My House: success!
I had only to sit back and watch as the rest of the hoard gravitated very quickly, de-camping from my house, and setting up shop right outside his.
I’d have to thank Chris. And bless his cosplaying abilities. My god, even for a second, I’d thought he was Hyde.
I stealthily made my way back home (this time by climbing into a car, driven by a very nice friend who’d saw me die after my marathon. Ah, so nice to have friends who own cars… I promptly passed out in the back seat due entirely to the fact that my body was not made for running.
Other exercise-inducing practices, yes. Running, no.
And once back home, I went back to my feverish preparations of welcoming Laruku. My house really does lack in appropriate number of bedrooms for five extra people. Like it or not, someone had couch duty.
The flight to Canada was long. Luckily for them, it had been arranged for a private flight. It was a mercy since not long after, they were placing bets on what kind of girl their new ‘hostess’ would be.
“She even Japanese, you think?”
“Can’t be, can’t speak it at all.”
“So? You know kids these days… don’t even try to learn their parents’ languages…”
“I think she’ll probably be another Hydeist wannabe,” Ken muttered, not letting it go. “With the sparkly eye makeup and the short skirt and everything. Including the condom. Just to catch Haaaiiiddddooo-saaammmaa!!! ‘s attention.”
“Who knows?” Yuki pointed out from his seat, where he was playing invisible drums with (also) invisible drumsticks and running through music scores in his head. “She could be a S.O.A.P. fan.”
“Which is why she’d ask for Laruku,” Ken shot back.
“Must want your sexy ass too then, I guess.” Hyde muttered, flashing a small smile at Yuki, before leaning back deeper into the cushioned back of his chair, hiding his eyes behind dark sunglasses.
“Must be,” Yukihiro replied, laughing, taking it good-naturedly, even going so far as to flip his hair over his shoulder and attempt to bat his eyelashes. He succeeded quite well in the first, and failed miserably in the second, but achieved an all-around fit of laughter, so he thought his performance decently applauded.
Conversation quickly subsided, because Tetsu had pulled out a pillow and had promptly turned over and went to sleep, Yuki had gone back to mentally playing his set of beloved drums, and had Ken promptly broke the no-smoking rule shamelessly.
A few minutes later, Ken sat up again. “But really, what’s the point of—mmph!!”
Because Tetsu had flung his pillow into Ken’s face, Yuki had tackled him, and Hyde had promptly come around and taped his mouth shut. Then they had to call a cute flight attendant over and immediately sit her on his lap to keep his sufficiently distracted so as not to use his hands to peel the tape off his mouth.
Or they could’ve taped up his hands too. But this way produced a lot less struggling from all parties.
Eventually, the loudspeaker overhead sounded, just as they were all ready to smash something after being kept on a plane for what had nearly amounted to a day. “Strap yourselves in gentlemen, we’re preparing to land.”
Immortal, merciful words that were never more welcome than at that moment.
Hyde looked out the window as he did as he was told, “It’s going to be a rough ride…” he muttered to himself.
End of Chapter One.
And there we are. You know, I never thought I could (or really, ever want to) write fanfic about real people. Shows how much I know about me. ^_^