Stephanie (mirroredsakura) wrote,
Stephanie
mirroredsakura

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Place of my own

Someone tried to impress upon me yesterday the absolute uncoolness that was still having an LJ - but really, the only difference between the two of us was the audience. I don't need one and they thrive on it. Maybe I'm showing my age.

I've had exactly two days off in a row which... has been really great, actually. With my impossibly hectic schedule, these come few and far between. But whenever they happen, if I don't occupy myself being lazy (read: napping), I really start thinking about my own life and I start sliding back into that awful pit of self-doubt - that all of this is a waste and I'm just constantly losing sight of what's really important because I don't know what those are anymore.

I hate how busy I am, but if this is the alternative, then I prefer the busy. Productivity at least tires me out and gives me some sense of personal satisfaction - which isn't exactly the most optimistic view when I'm on the cusp of so many new things (school again, laser eye surgery), but the only thing that's keeping me going.

thinking too muchCollapse )
Tags: this is self-motivation, too much real life
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