June 20th, 2004

flower

Fuck you life

I'm numb. I'm scared. I'm totally and completely fucking freaked out. I'm fucking shaking dammit, and I'm not the type to fall to pieces over something. I can't lose him, I can't, I can't, I can't.

He's been the only piece of sanity in my life for the longest time. I bloody look up to him more than I can say for anyone else in my life. I'd still be the rampaging bitch who annoyed the hell out of some people, and scared the shit out of everyone else. I'd have never stayed in school this long, they would've thrown me out a long time ago.

We're not as close anymore, but I need him. I need to know when I've fucked up my life that he can help me. I need to know that when his is, I know I can help him.

Right. I'm gone. I need this to make some fucking sense.
flower

Back--with less swearing ^^;;

Uh... I'm back, and less insane now.

For a little update. He's fine. I'm fine.

Thank you Mari, Sven, I'm sorry I messaged you with crazy, unintelligible.... yeah. ^^;; I promise that won't happen again.

...

At least... I think it won't.

And thank you Michelle for noticing and passing comment. Meant a lot to me. You're not prying. I appreciate. ^_^