October 30th, 2005



I always fall for the jerks. Especially when they can be one of the most awesome people I know, too.

So, what happens when I'm head over heels with one? Actually?

Sigh. Nothing like a blow to the ego when you tell him as much and he avoids answering you. And has been ignoring you for the past few weeks.

I don't like being on this end of the unrequited love chain. Nor do I understand men: I know he liked me before. That much was bleeding obvious. What happened in the last two weeks to change that? Damn it, I'm finding out tomorrow. If I can't, I give up completely. That's if I still can anymore. Gah.

CS exam on Monday too. Gah I need to study for it. But damn it, I can't concentrate. Yet another reason why Steph should not violate her precepts and reorganize her priorities. For anyone. Ever.

Might turn out to be for the best, I guess. One more month and I won't see him again for another 4, 5 years.

The idea of being without him though, it still makes my chest hurt to think about it. GAH.

My head hurts too, but I think that's more because the Advil's wearing off rather than impending heartbreak.

On a side note, Steph, Cherry and Florence wemt to the Stag Shop today. Steph bought a pair of sleeves. She would've snatched up a corset if it hadn't cost over $60 and she doesn't carry that much cash with her. It would've also been a bit awkward to explain, but whatever. It was pretty. Actually pretty. It was also amusing to watch the other two stare in awe at everything in there and make awkward conversation.

PS: Anyone ever notice that whenever I try to talk about something emotionally important to me, I tend to get all stilted from trying to keep from doing the exact opposite and gushing out the woes of my life? I'm still trying to figure out which way's more effective. :S
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