Stephanie (mirroredsakura) wrote,

Steph's Moment of a Sheer Lack of Optimism

In retaliation to Ally's ever-so-upbeat post because I am currently so very pissed off at the world in general, here's my doom-and-gloom about exactly what's been keeping me in my current state of depression. I've actually made a record... I have never managed to stay this depressed for more than a day of sulking. I've gone three straight. The world sucks.

Let's see, where to begin?

Here's a perfect place. Classic story really. I believe it happened to Alex and Ally in fact.

1. Best friend introduces Steph to boy. Steph likes boy. Steph likes boy very, very much.

It's kind of sad really, when you reach that stage of obsession when you can't stop thinking about where he is, what he's doing. He called me Thursday. Right after my English exam in fact. Was so deliriously happy because he promised to pick me up later that night to go to party. Didn't. Haunted the doorway for entire night even when I'd finished convincing myself that he wouldn't show. Found out party was cancelled. Was crushed.

Anyway, to continue on with the story, Steph finds out that best friend likes boy. Steph also finds out that boy thinks of Steph as another good girl friend. Boy likes Steph's best friend.

2. Steph has been called fat eight times already in the past hour by close family members. Steph wishes to tell them to fuck off, but obviously, this is v. bad plan. Would never see the light of day again if told both mother and father this. (And my sister... and my cousin...) Self-esteem go whoomph. Yes, complete with sound effects.

3. Studying for bio. Has been denied new Internet from computer until exams over. Has had TV taken away and placed in the deepest depths of our house, complete with dead insects and assorted filth. One chair has some sort of fungus growing on the bottom.

4. Steph feels fat. Weighed herself. Not good plan.

5. Toe is throbbing. Kicked scale in moment of not-thinking and complete denial. Missed. Hit wall. Pain.

6. Cannot draw. Is annoyed. Men do not have breasts. Cannot seem to be able to remedy this in piece of shoddy artwork. Crumples it, chucks out window. Forgets cousin's window is closed and has screen over it. Bounces back, smacks Steph on nose.

7. Has been isolated from rest of family gathering. Is sitting in closed off room with only computer as comfort waiting to hear someone yell that it is time to go. Stupid exams.

8. I want to drive. I can't drive. No one's letting me drive.

9. Steph is depressed, needs comfort food. Laura, you have brownies. Gimmee.

*looks up* Wow. No wonder I'm depressed. Anyone else ever notice that I hardly ever post... but when I do, they're so very abysmally long?

Ah well, I'll be back to normal in no time.

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