Stephanie (mirroredsakura) wrote,
Stephanie
mirroredsakura

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Sigh

I'm sad. I've finished my second online reading report, but I'm about 100 words short. In a 500 word report, it's a bit important to cut out 100 words I think... But I don't know. It's done, it's submitted now, perhaps I can stop caring.

I'm sick of all these half-truths around me, just for me to puzzle through. I really am... just tell me straight out, can't you? I'm sick of my dad calling me and pretending everything's all right and then bitching about me to my sister and insulting me like I'm the lowest creature on Earth. I'm sick of hearing about all the shiny things my sister is getting from my parents and then her falling into an awkward pause because she knows I'm not getting a thing. Heh. Not as if I haven't gotten used to it after years of caring about it.

I'm sick of liking a guy and being unsure of myself. I'm sick of not-knowing where I stand with my friends. I'm sick of not being able to see the people I know who're scattered all across the province, country, continent, world.

I'm sick of school and assignment after assignment and lab and midterm over and over again. I'm sick of being scared about jobs.

...I'm sick of angsting about my problems which aren't really that bad when I try to think about it rationally. And then there comes that whole self-disgust at crying about stupid stuff even though I'm pretty sure family and friends are rather important.

Gah, whatever. Tonight's just a night where I'm just sick of being me I think. It'll pass.
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